Toothy Eggplant

Start with the following:

3 thin eggplants (not the bulbous kind)

Chinese broccoli stems

3 banana peppers

1 red bell pepper

2 jumbo mild jalapenos

1/3 lb. ground beef

fermented black beans

oyster sauce

bourbon

garlic

oils (sesame and vegetable)

rice vinegar

corn starch

sweet brown sugar

white pepper

bragg's (substitute soy sauce if not available)

corn starch

2 cups Japanese rice

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Put the Japanese rice in the rice cooker's pot with a lot of water. Slosh it around to rinse the rice. Drain the water. Repeat twice or until the water runs clear-ish. Then start the rice cooker with 1.75:1 water:rice.

Strip the hot seeds from the jalapenos. Cut the eggplant into 1"-thick sections.

Get the cast iron skillet our and get it hot. Once hot, in throw the ~50 black beans and chopped garlic. Add 2 tbsp vegetable oil. Saute.

At the 1-minute mark, add the beef. Saute.

At the 2-minute mark, add the jalapeno seeds. Saute in the oil and beef fat.

At the 3-minute mark, add the eggplant.

Once the eggplant's a little translucent, likely at the 7-minute mark, add the Chinese broccoli stems. The addition of the broccoli stems marks the transition from saute to cook-with-a-little-steam.

At the 9-minute mark, add a shake of water, bragg's, and whiskey. The eggplant will sponge-up the whiskey flavor.

At the 10-minute mark, add all the peppers. Add salt and white pepper to taste.

At the 11-minute mark, put the sauce together. Dilute oyster sauce with water, add a LITTLE rice vinegar, and drop the mixture in the pan.

Add the broccoli leaves when the time feels right.

To finish, mix 1 tbsp corn starch with water and the brown sugar in a separate dish. Once that's homogenized, add it to the pan and stir it in.

Serve with Japanese rice.